I know I might be showing my age, but doesn’t the title of this blog make you want to hum Boston’s "More Than a Feeling"? If you haven’t heard it, I encourage you to listen. It’s a classic! While the lyrics don’t provide insight into what love truly is, they remind us that love is, indeed, more than a feeling.
Love often comes with a whirlwind of emotions – the butterflies over a middle school crush, the pangs of jealousy when someone gets too close to our partner, or the heartache we feel for a friend in pain. The more we love, the more deeply we feel. However, to limit love to mere feelings is to overlook the profound and transformative love God calls us to embrace and share.
It's easy to be confused by the concept of love. After all, we can love anything from strawberries to siblings. The spectrum of love is vast and often varies based on our experiences. I want to take a moment here and just thank God for love. Regardless of the degree to which we understand love, we can all sit for a moment in wonder and gratefulness that our Creator saw fit to make love an integral part of our lives. Not only does He love us unconditionally (Romans 5:8), but He also gives us people, possessions, and purposes to love. He desires that our lives be filled to overflowing with His love (Romans 8:37-39). Soak this in! It truly doesn’t get much better than that!
Let’s talk about this thing called love. If it is more than a feeling, what is it exactly? As most of you know, the love God gives us and calls us to share with others is not your average kind of love. The Greek term used in the Bible to describe God’s love is agape. Agape love is not a sappy, sentimental feeling we often see in our adolescent students around Valentine’s Day. In fact, agape love has little to do with feelings, which may seem strange. Nearly everything in our culture associates love with emotions. We need to fully understand agape love, or we might mistakenly think that we need to feel love in order to share love. I don't think that is what Jesus had in mind when He said, "Love your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:36-39).
I did some digging on Bible Hub, and here is what I found as a definition for agape love (emphasis mine).
Agapé is a term used in the New Testament to describe a selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love. It is the highest form of love, often associated with the love of God for humanity and the love that believers are called to have for one another. Unlike other Greek words for love, such as "eros" (romantic love) or "philia" (brotherly love), agapé is not based on emotions or feelings but is an act of the will, characterized by a commitment to the well-being of others.
For me, the most significant phrases I chose to highlight are “act of the will” and “commitment to the well-being of others.” These two concepts define what agape love is all about – choice and action. Agape love is not determined by how we feel but by what we selflessly, sacrificially, and unconditionally choose to do for others. I’m sure you would agree that our schools could benefit from a greater presence of agape love. However, you may also think that this type of love is beyond our capabilities. You would be right!
Agape love does not come naturally to us. Due to our fallen nature, we are unable to produce such love on our own. This kind of love must flow from the ultimate Source – God Himself (1 John 4:8). If we are to love as God loves, the desire and ability to do so will have to come from Him. When we accept Christ as our Savior, something miraculous happens. That inability to love as God loves suddenly becomes possible.
And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Romans 5:5
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness… Galatians 5:22
Why, then, do we not see more agape love from Christians today? Could it be we are waiting to feel like loving others? Could it be we are looking around for someone worthy of our love? Have we lost sight of how much we are loved? Have we forgotten the greatest commands of all?
Jesus replied, “‘You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’” Matthew 22:38-39
God’s love is too precious not to share. While educators already do a great deal of “sharing the love,” there is so much more we all could do. During February, the season of love, let’s make conscious, act of the will choices to love – even when we don’t feel like it. Here are a few practical suggestions based on one of the most famous passages in the Bible on love – 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 (ESV). Feel free to add your own!
Love is patient.
Share the love by being patient with the weaknesses and faults of someone in your workplace.
Believe the best about them and tell them so!
Love is kind
Share the love by lightening someone’s load this week when they least expect it.
Love is not envy or boast.
Share the love by validating a colleague's talents and/or gifts.
Love is not arrogant or rude.
Share the love by speaking a word of encouragement to a student or staff member.
Love is not self-seeking.
Share the love by looking for and drawing attention to the success of another.
Love is not irritable or resentful.
Share the love by maintaining a peaceful spirit in a less-than-peaceful situation.
Love does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.
Share the love by calling out a student’s good behavior.
Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Share the love by embracing and serving someone others would deem unlovable.
Love – God’s love – is meant to be shared. It’s more than a feeling! Happy Valentine’s Day!
If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:1-3
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